I guess nothing is different today apart from now knowing for sure she's with this OM and she's totally into him and letting him into our home and relax on my sofa and make love in my bed with my wife.
Yes it's all resentment and ego I know.
I agree anger and patience is something I need to work on in dealing with my actions now. Yes I've always had I want it now attitude with material things. I really am a good guy though. Everyone tells me that. People trust me and are always talking to me and asking "how's Kev gettin on" when friends are together. I do have a selfish streak. Sometimes I get defensive at being critisised but I normally think about things and if someone's right admit my mistakes and try to improve. It's all that stuff that's kept me clean and sober for 19 years now.
Am not scared to look at myself.
I just don't understand why she's done this. Taken such an extreme choice rather than sit down with me and work it out. We always got on great even in the weeks before she dropped the bomb we would sit and laugh and joke and talk.
My searching for answers to how shes behaving hasn't help either I know. Reading about "fogs" or gaslighting just has frustrated me even more because it seems like something I can start with to begin fixing "glad I wrote that, it's made me laugh, is that something I need to look at, lose of control, tryin to fix others?"
I don't really want the softly softly approach. People to say its all ok and that. But right now I am sensitive.
Kevin
Me-38W-28. M-2 1/2. Together-7 years OM-14/4/12 Told M in trouble-17/4/12 BD-5/6/12 S-5/6/12 ProofOM-17/06/12 Start to change me-31/08/12 EA+PA-14/04/12-now
