Find things in life that make me feel good, things to do and explore that are of my interests.
Get my physical appearance to a place that makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. Improve on and maintain my weight, dress, hair, nails, skin and over all looks that bring me to a place of feeling pretty.
Put myself out there whenever possible to meet new people, make friends, and develop a relationship with someone outside of my comfortable circle of familiarity.
Don't allow myself to be a punching bag, door mat, sound board, for my H who needs to expel his "spew" at me. Stand up for myself and say "I don't deserve to be spoken to in this way" then remove myself from the scene.
Learn to take care of my home, learning new ways, be it asking my 3 sons or a professional to help me get my home in order and stop reling on my H to do the projects needed. Take charge...it's my home with my children!
Don't let the mood of others influence my day. Don't try to take on what I can't control about H, control myself and tell myself that everyday, there's a reason to do something new and exciting, no matter how small it may be.
My name literally means "the start of a new day". I want to approach every day without any garbage from the day before...as an extension of what was good...and as a blank slate for what's ahead.
I will do my best for me, my kids and even my H who no matter what the outcome of our M, will always be my family, and someone I loved very much.
My faith that God has heard my prayers to take my M into his hands, help me with my choices ahead, and give me the strength to deal with what comes next, is strong enough for me to push forward.
I guess I'm about to meet the women that I've been seeking, the last time I saw her she was just a girl. How will I recognize her...she'll be the one standing tall with her family by her side.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
