I don't know - I think I don't even really know what a real marriage looks like ... I compare us a lot ... I never had good relationships. I never saw them modeled. I look at them now but who knows if what I observe about others is really the real story. Y'know?
A year ago I would have proudly described my own marriage to you to let you know what the perfect marriage is all about. We each had our individual lives and separate interests but came together as a couple enough to keep the flame going, we were both very active with our kids never missing a single concert, game, performance, meet-the-teacher, etc. We planned vacations together. We maintained separate bank accounts but worked out the family finances together. We worked hard to pay off our house and cars and eliminated all debt. We established retirement investments and college investments and had the future financially worked out. We were on track to retire in less than 10 years to a confortable life. we had abundant respect for each other and love for each other. And we had a fantastic sex life. Sounds great, right? Apparently it wasn't enough for W, she recently decided she isn't happy, I'm the reason why, and now she needs to go find happiness like it's some rock sitting on the ground waiting to be discovered and picked up. Meanwhile a very dear friend of mine is the exact same age as my W. She divorced her physically abusive husband years ago and has struggled to raise her 4 children my maintaining up to 4 jobs at a time. Her oldest daughter moved out of state and had to ride the bus to work in freezing weather, so my friend finally drove her own car up to her daughter, came back and rode a bicycle every day to work herself. She has nearly nothing and has sacrificed what little she has for her kids. And get this, she's one of the happiest people I know. Happiness comes from within. We each control our own happiness, and if we're not happy we have no one to blame but ourselves. I hope my W figures this out sooner rather than later. So what is the perfect marriage? That's up to you. No two marriages are alike and what works for one couple if poison for another. Don't worry about how you compare, just concern yourself with what it takes for you to be happy.
