Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
Originally Posted By: chatterbug

On a side note.

I would not give her the speech... It will fall on deaf ears. Just something else to blame. As she has made her position on the matter quite clear since early in the relationship.

It is truly our friend here who needs to decide if he wants to remain married to a woman who does want an open marriage.


Just out of curiosity Chatter, are you advocating that everyone just walk away from a spouse who is actively in an affair, or is dating during a separation?

Not criticizing, just wondering... I mean, if I had done that, I wouldn't be working on my M today.


Yes and No.

I do look at time lines , when things happened , length of active affair and length of time together.

I also look at the health of the relationship, any children and the poster.

So I come up with a formula in my head.

So with Alkaline I see that he has dependency issues ( I did as well Alkaline so no insult intended ) and no children.

I also see that this issue has been present for the majority of his relationship with his wife.

I also see that he is afraid of his wife and has positioned himself in a very unhealthy position with her. She is higher up the food chain than him in their relationship. She knows this and behaves this way towards Alkaline in their communications.

I wrote it out in detail in the previous thread that Alkaline had going. Its the second post.
long winded post

I think that given the unbalance within their relationship , lack of children, length of her stepping out, level of disrespect vs the length of the relationship and dating that Alkaline needs to do a true LRT. Plan D. As this is the only way he will be able to even the playing field between the two of them. Protect himself emotionally and financially from her.

She is not attracted to Mr. Nice Guy who is below her in relationship status.

That is what I read here and I base my advice around gaining independence from the relationship. Building self esteem and realizing that a failed marriage does not define Alkaline for the remainder of his days. That tough love will help him learn and enforce his personal boundaries.

Does that explain it to you ? If not we can chat some more. Denver you can criticize my posts any time you want. I respect your opinion.

Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!