Divorced Thrd #6/Long Road Ahead

[Mrs D]

I can do this. I can be the strong, confident person I was.

In all seriousness, MrsD, I honestly believe you can, too. There is an earnestness about you -- a strength and tenacity behind the desperate fear (only when it relates to your ex-H) -- that is evident. And you have a healthy level of introspection, which I have always felt was a necessary trait found in all successful DB'ers (too much of this leads to "navel-gazing," however . . . "introspection" = "GOOD"; "navel-gazing" = "BAD").

Add to that your strong faith, and I think you have a very solid foundation of emotional strengths on which to build, I really do.

And as you can probably tell my now, I'm NOT the type to blow smoke up your butt if I didn't think that were true!!!


Starsky

Thank you - I think my determination is what gets me down sometimes. And my mind wandering. But I REALLY appreciate your post. This will get me through the weekend. I know th art of DBing is making yourself happy and the best you can be. I just need to stay focused on THAT and not he/she. Keep building me up Starsky!! And thank you as well for being one of my cheerleaders.

[Starsky309]

I like to think that what I lack in nice legs, I make up for in content.

[Mrs D]

I like to think that what I lack in nice legs, I make up for in content.

LOL - you know Id take any kind of cheerleader now.. nice legs, not so nice legs, but good content only - no bad!! LOL

So - I have spoke to X atleast 4 times today. First this morning to ask if I could take C tomorrow. Then again around noon cause he thought he had to work till 8. Would I be able to pick C up and take him to his parents? Then again a couple hours later - only working will 630 - would you still pick him up? (this was the call I thought odd since Id already said I would, but whatever), and just now telling me he wasnt working late tonight because of rain. Geez......

[Carnac]

Stay the course MrsD: Let him be the one to wonder for a while

[Mrs D]

Oh I am Carnac.
So next weekend My dear daughter is coming home for the weekend. I am so so excited to see her since shes been south since July 4th weekend. I was trying to find a way to get her back down south Monday because I wanted to take her with C and I to a Packer game next weekend, but its not going to work out. So I bought the tickets for C and I to go next weekend, I told her Id see about taking her to the game in St. Louis come October. Its only fair. So yeah... a lil GALing for C and I next weekend. Whos the excited one? Well I am cause he doesnt know yet Im taking him. HE was be stoked though when I tell him.

Heading out for dinner with a GF. Shes having BF issues. I keep telling her to fight for the relationship if she wants it and NOT to run like I did. I just hate they are going through this as well.

[Arsene]

Hey MrsD,

Glad you're doing ok. You've been getting great support and advice from a bunch of fantastic vets. I'm glad for you and I'm glad you seem to be cheerful right now. It's great about your D coming over. It'll put your focus on other things for a while. you seem to be doing well, though. Keep it up girl. And BTW, helping others go through their own marital problems is a great way for you to see thing from a different perspective. I'm sure both of you will benefit from it. Take care.

[Mrs D]

Hey Arsene... I was pretty chipper Friday night when I last posted. Today I am alittle frustrated. Maybe alittle hurt. Maybe alittle confused. This is how my weekend has gone thus far:

Friday night as I wrote, I was to meet my GF that is having relationship issues for dinner. Well, after I was able to get home, change, let the dog out - she called to let me know where to meet her. She was extremely intoxicated. By the time I got to where she was, she was getting sick in the restroom. So I drove her home, put her to bed, and then went home. Another GF text me asking what I had planned for the night. So we grabbed a pizza and hung out talking to friends then went home. Saturday, I had C because X was working. He and I went to my IC session, grabbed lunch, walked around the mall, then headed home. X called about 330 saying he just got off, could he stop at home and take a shower quick. He came to get C about an hour later, dressed nice. He had asked if my daughter was back this weekend and I advised him that she is back next weekend. C then tells X that we are going to the game next weekend, X asks how I can afford that. I told him that Id been saving. Then he asks about the Mexico trip our mutual friends had asked us to go, I told him I wasnt going. He got mad. Really mad. Something about the only reason why he wasnt going was because I was going, and how I should have told him that I had changed my mind. I wanted to tell him that they didnt want him to go anyway if he was going to ask his GF to go, but I didnt... anyway. He got in his car and took off like a bat outta hell.

This is why I am confused and frustrated. Why is he so mad at me that Im not going? Why does it seem to me hes been so mad at me for little things this past week? I.E. - my therapy appt change, me going out with my sister last wknd, and now the tip to Mexico and me taking C to the game?

Any ideas why??

[Arsene]

Maybe he senses you re taking control of your situation? Which means he isn't calling the shots anymore. Anger is not necessarily a bad thing. It's a heck of a lot better than indifference anyway.

Keep doing what you're doing and don't worry about him. You're dong just fine girl.

[labug]

^^^Agree, his emotions, his problem.

[MrBond]

You know there are times when an occasional "truth dart" is called for. It helps to lift the fog a little. When he confronted you about the trip, you should have told him that it was your decision and that you are not entitled to tell him if you were going or not. Depending on how things were, I would have mentioned your friends being uncomfortable with his GF.

And again, that is his GF not OW.