I think I see the picnic!

[2chiquitos]

Thank you LaBug. I was able to sleep at night with your advice.

Aunt Flo paid me a visit which explains the lack of control of my emotions. I have an appt with OB to get BC. I seriously can't do this another month.

I have an hour to myself and I'm going to enjoy it while kids are asleep. I started watching "The Vow." TEAR JERKER!!

I cried half way thru it. It was a healthy cry. Letting it all out as Pema suggests.

I also read more on Pema. Good stuff. It's helped me more than Al Anon alone. I think I'm slowly filling my toolbox which is great!

I have the awful urge to want to start drama with H. I hate this. It happens when things are great and we have a nice time planned. He's suppose to bring dinner after work and hang out before going to DJ at a wedding.

But then here I come. Evil little witch with a bag of resentment to ruin our night. You know, the witch with the missing teeth, drooling, smell like I haven't showered in weeks. That witch.

I gotta keep that bag of resentment put away and locked up tight. I can use them like weapons. Yesterday after I sobbed about the stuffed animal, he text me that he felt emptiness in his stomach and knew it was from me crying (or his guilt!). I replied, I was just as surprised about my reaction.

I apologized and even gave him a hug and when he came home brushed it off. It wasn't something that could be changed.

Although I am in desperate need of my LLs being met, quality time with H and physical touch. Should I do the unthinkable and submit my request????? :-O