Tomorrow is a New Day

[2chiquitos]

When H dropped the bomb, I told him it would have an adverse effect on D16, heightened by her disabilities. He brushed that off and said we'd make it fun for her(really?). When I was putting D to bed, I found a teddy bear in her closet. That bear is one of the last things I can remember my parents giving me before they divorced. And they divorced when I was about 23 or 24. So if that makes me sad 20 years later, I can't expect anything would be easier for my own D.

My parents divorced 7 years ago and I still feel the effects from it. The holidays are the worst because I would rather be alone or with friends then be somewhere knowing that one parent is missing.

I think reading Codependent No More is really helping. I read through the signs last night and it made me sick to see where I am. Yikes. I had no idea. I'm still doing a chapter a night and doing the activities at the end of each chapter. I also started my journaling again.

It helps to be aware of your own character defects. Continue working on yourself.

I did the 5LL online quiz and I am thinking about emailing the results to H and asking him if he would take the H's quiz. I will tell him that if he does, to email me the results, and if not, just drop the whole thing. I am hoping he will be curious about it at a minimum. I am thinking about what to say in the email, but it won't be R talk. It will be more along the lines of I am continuing to work on my solution oriented goals, and this has been a part of what I am doing.

No expectations. I would suggest to work on his LLs and once you feel the R is secure clue him in on your LLs. You don't need to ask him to take the quiz. You've been married long enough to know his LLs. Read the book. It goes into more detail.