I definitely hear what you're saying Starsky, and it makes a lot of sense. I think what's at issue here is this: I think she's operating under assumptions here as to why I'm not reaching out. I told her months ago that the reason was to give her the "Time and Space" that she asked for... So there's a good chance that what she thinks is happening now. I've never had the opportunity to tell her that "I know about OM and can't be a part of your life while he is..." conversation... Instead, after a friend told me about some stuff posted on FB, my original game-plan changed completely from having that conversation to not having it.
I'm not trying to be argumentative, and I'm still not sure where I fall on this discussion, but I greatly appreciate your input!
Well, yeah, ideally you should have had the "I won't be in any marriage with a third person in it" talk a long time ago. But I'd still wait until she comes down and have the convo in person, for the reasons we've already discussed. And as 'bug says, you don't come out of the dark to tell someone why you've gone dark on them.
It will only seem supplicating at best, and manipulative at worst.
