Divorced Thrd #6/Long Road Ahead

[Mrs D]

Starsky - a couple weeks ago I was in prayer group with my pastor and his wife. They prayed with me for healing, and to soften Xs heart. That week was THE best week since this has all started. And I think that gave me more strength to get to where I am now, as little as it is. I pray daily, morning and night - but I have never asked for help with losing the fear. I used to be bold. I used to be courageous. I am none of that anymore. I havent been since X started dating someone else. How sad is that?? I KNOW I am the better option. Why cant I let my mind just let that sink in then??? I have no esteem anymore. It doesnt matter how much I GAL, or try to be positive - I dont have it.