Divorced Thrd #6/Long Road Ahead

[labug]

Different strokes, for different folks.

[Starsky309]

Found it:


2 Timothy 1:7

New Living Translation (NLT)

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

[Mrs D]

Starsky - a couple weeks ago I was in prayer group with my pastor and his wife. They prayed with me for healing, and to soften Xs heart. That week was THE best week since this has all started. And I think that gave me more strength to get to where I am now, as little as it is. I pray daily, morning and night - but I have never asked for help with losing the fear. I used to be bold. I used to be courageous. I am none of that anymore. I havent been since X started dating someone else. How sad is that?? I KNOW I am the better option. Why cant I let my mind just let that sink in then??? I have no esteem anymore. It doesnt matter how much I GAL, or try to be positive - I dont have it.

[Carnac]

This discussion has me smiling so much today. Im not looking to hijack the whole thread, but Starsky cracked me up saying that he's a hard @ss on here and a softie in real life.

I guess I try to not give too many 2 x 4's b/c i've given so many out in real life. I was to honest IRL i guess so im working hard at being much softer in general and it starts here for me. I think my size, being bald, having a scowl for a natural look etc has kept people from 'talking back' to me, or at least so my wife said, so at some point I thought I had carte blanche to say whatever was in my head and I always hid behind " hey if they don't like honesty they shouldnt ask what I think" .

Anyway, just funny that now im a 'cheerleader'....actually Im happy to be and trust me MrsD, the only reason im cheerleading is because others are swinging the big sticks this time. I want you to capatalize on the momentum you have, but you still really need to worry less about him/her and worry more about you, and not as it relates to him but as it relates to who you want to be.

Yeah I finally made the cheer team

[Mrs D]

Found it:


2 Timothy 1:7

New Living Translation (NLT)

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Thank you Starsky. Thank you.

[Mrs D]

Yeah thanks to Starsky and Denver, and now you with the cheerleading comments - I have smiled some this morning as well. Thanks guys!!

I know this has to be about me. I know this. Im still just having a hard time letting it completely go. Im getting there though. I am.

[Starsky309]

I used to be bold. I used to be courageous. I am none of that anymore. I havent been since X started dating someone else. How sad is that?? I KNOW I am the better option. Why cant I let my mind just let that sink in then??? I have no esteem anymore. It doesnt matter how much I GAL, or try to be positive - I dont have it.

Because you are allowing yourself to be defined by what your ex-husband and his girlfriend decide to do (or not do), instead of by those inherent things within MrsD that make her the unique and special creation that God made her to be.

Your ex-husband's decision to end the marriage doesn't define you, MrsD. Nor do the mistakes you made along the way in that marriage. How you RESPOND now is what defines you -- that plus those strengths, talents, gifts and yes flaws that make you . . .YOU.

Don't allow this other couple to define YOU.

Not easy, I know, but it's a matter of detachment and co-dependency. Too often we allow the reactions of those we love to dictate our OWN happiness.


Starsky

[Mrs D]

Well, I guess the good thing about hiding behind the computer and talking on here is that no one else cept you guys and my closest friends know that Im not doing any better with this all. As far as he is concerned, he knows none the better. And it shouldnt matter what he knows or thinks anyway, right? I guess I really am no closer to detaching as I was the day I logged on here.

I dont know how this will ever get any easier. It seems like I do so well for a few days, then I have a bad one. A really bad one.


Thanks again Starsky. I need to detach better. NC I have down.

[Starsky309]

MrsD,

Re-read my post above. I specifically said that you HAVE gotten better -- just not all the way there yet.

So . . . no wallowing. Don't MAKE me come there and kick some feel-sorry snot outta ya.


Starsky

[Mrs D]

MrsD,

Re-read my post above. I specifically said that you HAVE gotten better -- just not all the way there yet.

So . . . no wallowing. Don't MAKE me come there and kick some feel-sorry snot outta ya.


Starsky

I know Starsky. Its that low PMA thing Ive had going on all week. I think I finally hit bottom so, nowhere to go up again!! I can do this. I can be the strong, confident person I was. Happy Friday!