I don't think he's handling it right and obviously I don't want a D but I am starting to suffer so much that it's not healthy for me to be in this situation any more.
We can't ever be sure of things we read here on the boards because we get a skewed perspective but I would guess that your suffering has little to do with the marriage. Yes, it's a factor but you seem to have a lot more going on that you need to work on. Breakdown is giving great advice and you will carry this to your next R if you don't figure it out now.
Stop focusing on your H so much and turn that back on you.
Who are you? Why are you so unhappy? Answer that question without the words H or M or R.
