DLS, are you as easily swayed by your friends as you seem to be suggesting JAG's W is? Or am I misinterpreting your words?
There aren't many people in this world I would take relationship advice from, other than people from these forums and maybe a good relationship in a church setting.
I am not following or fitting into any herd. I'm saying that many time these cheaters ARE following their friends, who enable the affair.
I'm suggesting that Jag's W has a couple of "friends" who know about the guy. This is almost always the case, and they essentially support her in the decision "as long as it makes you happy". That's how it goes down.
No I don't talk to her friends about this. Her aunt caught me off guard one day when I called to talk to aunts H who is my friend. She said "work on yourself and give her space and everything will work out fine."
Other than that I have this forum and one of my personal friends whom I confide in.
Just had W take negative energy out on me. My dam brother was supposed to watch our dogs for a night and he agreed to do it. Called him yesterday to remind him and he said sorry "he forgot about a wedding he had to attend" so naturally because it was from my family I am getting a nice dose of pissed off from W. thanks brother...
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Also W is not talking to anyone or dating anyone else. There is no OM except maybe in her dreamland.
Lucky guy, you know she could do it in reality in 15 minutes! All you have to do is tighten up, get a direction for yourself and everything will work itself out.
MC keeps saying that she sees many great things between us but also recognizes that its going to take W to figure out why she is viewing separating as an option instead of fixing the issues together.
She told W over the next few weeks to really take some time and recognize what we have together and think about how it would be without those good things.
I know W loves me I can tell, but she is so disenchanted and living in a fantasy that our M should just work instead of making it work. This is something she is going to have to figure out before we can move forward.
Until then I an trying new thisngs for me and pulling backveven further. This morning I got my first "are you okay" while lying in bed silently. I answered with a cordial yes and then went about getting ready for work and having some breakfast together.
I feel very alone today.. I will be alone at work for 5 hours today as well. Gonna need to keepbusy....
Patience patience
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
MC keeps saying that she sees many great things between us but also recognizes that its going to take W to figure out why she is viewing separating as an option instead of fixing the issues together. She told W over the next few weeks to really take some time and recognize what we have together and think about how it would be without those good things.
I know W loves me I can tell, but she is so disenchanted and living in a fantasy that our M should just work instead of making it work. This is something she is going to have to figure out before we can move forward.
Can you accept the possibility that the only way your w can "figure out", is by experiencing the singles life, and losing what you have?
B/C it often is...and that's why SOME couples remarry...
she may be on a "mission" she believes can only be achieved one way and you MAY have to release her to her task.
My h truly believed his/our happiness (which he always equated as the same, if HE was happy, why wasn't everyone else??)
lay in living in Alaska, which we did for 4 years....neither I nor any of our children felt the same and the idea that a PLACE wquld have such a hold on him was foreign to me, and deeply painful. (A lot of deceit and weird behavior on his end, followed this but isn't relevant right now.)
Anyhow, he seemed to NEED to go. So I released him to his "task".
I chose not to divorce him then and there, but to I GAL big time, & I assumed he would not return and made a life for me and the kids without him...though I had an unspoken internal deadline in my mind about when I'd be DONE...(when my older d finished high school, which was 2 years.
then he got there, woke up and noticed we were not there and it wasn't so great. In fact it sucked...and then he wanted back in.
I could have said NO WAY, to prove some point. But he was sincere and willing to work on things and once upon a time we had a truly great m, and both would have described it that way.
I had to trust that those memories would re-surface and sure enough, IN TIME (and a lot of it!!) they did. And they outweighed the lure of the wild frontier.
[b] Until then I an trying new thisngs for me and pulling backveven further. This morning I got my first "are you okay" while lying in bed silently. I answered with a cordial yes and then went about getting ready for work and having some breakfast together. Sounds like a small but useful interchange. Well done.
I feel very alone today.. I will be alone at work for 5 hours today as well. Gonna need to keepbusy....
Patience patience
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
personally. You're probably a bit po'd too, eh?