Letting people live their lives and GALing...

[AntoniaB]

So I had the date--4 hours of talking at a bar/restaurant. Very good time. The prevailing thought I have had after is that it's no "work" on my end...I am totally being 100% me and this guy seems to like me and have a real interest in me. I don't have to draw him out of his "shell" or chip away at his emotional wall.

This is just all new territory for me. I know it's a good thing, but it's just not my norm. I think this all goes back to the fact that I've never been around a couple in a relationship of my own or my family's that didn't involve the woman trying to deal with a man with emotional issues, and being this very ambitious person, I sort of make it my goal to help someone out, i.e. "I'm going to be the woman who helps him change." This sort of thing is always made worse when I meet a guy (like the guy I just stopped seeing) who expresses a real desire to change in his words (till I see the actions don't match).

So I guess if I'm going to keep seeing this guy, I have to learn to just relax with the fact that I don't have to "do" anything.

One thing I realized is that I think I'm an adrenaline junky, ha ha. I think it's a shot of adrenaline to be the person who can once in awhile draw someone out to connect who is emotionally unavailable. I got addicted to that shot of adrenaline. If I do'nt have to draw someone out, there is this evenness in the interaction that isn't all volatile. So I guess I need to break that addiction, so to speak.