best and worse thing to ever go through

[eyesopen]

So I am wondering if it is advisable to try and speak your mates LL while seperated. My W's LL is words of affirmation. I feel like if I speak these it may come off as sucking up, when I am trying to detach. For the most part my W is luke warm to me, with the occasional cold front. So it seems that she may be somewhat receptive to her own LL.

On another note, I have mentioned before that 180's are a bit difficult for me since my wife hasn't really given any reasons as to what went wrong. She has said I am controlling, which I have admitted that I probably was. I have been working on that. I know that I was not very supportive of what she wanted to do with her life, although we both put a value on her being a stay at home mom. I guess that goes along with controlling. I also used to make her fell guilty about leaving the kids with me and her wanting to go out. Once again "controlling." But for about the last year and a half I have really embraced my role as a parent. So since she works in the evenings I have offered a few times to take the kids on a night that she isn't working so that she may get out. I normally have the kids 4 nights a week already, so taking another makes it difficult for me to GAL. I do want my wife back, but regardless I don't want to give up time with my children. Sorry I am rambling, just typing as it comes to me. So how do you 180 as far as support goes with a woman that has walked out? How do you affirm that? I don't feel like I am sucking up, I do only show her a happy, positive me. Ughh, sometimes it is all so clear, and sometimes it is hard to make heads or tails out of anything. Either way I do feel really good about just being positive in all aspects of my life. The whole fake it til you make sure seems to work. I do like the direction my life is heading, and I really think I will get another shot.