According to my H, we are separated (in house, separate bedrooms, like your W), thus he can do whatever he likes. He has registered on various dating sites and is "dating". I don't know how far these dates go, but I'm not going to find out. I am actively seeking divorce myself.
Your W may think this is her sitch, that she is separated therefore not married to you except for the actual paper.
If your going to be done anyway, maybe do exactly what they are doing. Date some people that you like, let it go the full mile if you think it's worth it. It makes the WAS actions seem less important to them. When you mirror them it drives them crazy, it's like "how could she do this to me?".
Right now you are doormatted against your will, there is nothing you can say, but you can do something. You wouldn't do the same thing for revenge, but you have needs that aren't being met, and it is true.
