Thanks Labug I know I can only sort me out its just hard to not think about my marital situation. So thinking of me, I'm going to carry on going to the gym, make arrangements to do things w friends, keep busy & NOT contact H - it doesn't do me any good when I do.
I'm just scared we'll never talk this out one way or another.
I'm going to write some more about how trapped in the situation I am & how he is able to control the show.
He's on a military base so I can't turn up at his door. There's a gatehouse (he says he feels safe there knowing no one can get to him). If I turn up they will call the barracks & say he has a visitor & my name. He chooses to let me in or not. I haven't tried this but threatened to one day when he wouldn't answer his phone & he said he'd never talk to me again if I did. I told him I was getting in my car. He called me straightaway.
He doesn't answer his phone unless he wants to.
He doesn't answer emails or txts unless he wants to
It's like it's all on his terms. Tho looking back on our relationship before he moved out a lot of stuff was on my terms but I've worked on that these past two years. I've asked his views, validated etc.
It really angers me that we can't just talk this out. Agree to separate or work on us & move this crappy situation forward. I'm bored w it & so confused w his mxd messages. Tho have to admit I send them too!
If he wants out why not just say so? Maybe he's like me & can't face it.
My counsellor (non db) last wk said do something different & suggested going to the base, ask him to tell me to my face that he doesn't love me nor want me as his wife. That's pretty scary!
I'm going to be posting here a lot, be warned!
Tumbling
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
