Piecing - Round 1

[Denver_2010]

3) She has an inaccurate memory of our 18 months S... extremely inaccurate memory of it. Just little things that happened, times when she was not around because we were not talking and she was off doing her own thing... I won't list them here because they really are of no consequence now. I just find it strange. I just shake my head and say 'okay, if that's the way you remember it'. It is truly as if she was in another world during that time. A different person.

This is really very typical -- it's the "fog" we all talk about here -- but it still kinda creeps me out. Not only does my wife not remember certain things about her affair time (or, like yours, just has a very different version of it), even DURING it, she would do really strange things. Once, during my "re-confrontation" part of my story, I played a recording for her that I had, totally busting her, and demanding that she at least be honest with our adult daughters and her parents, and that she stop lying about me. That regardless of what she thought of ME, or what happened to our marriage, we were still a family and we had always expected honesty in our family, and building co-parenting on a foundation of deceit wouldn't be good for ANYONE.

She listened to her own voice on the CD that I had burned, and said "Who is that?" I told her it was HER, and she looked at me with these blank eyes, and said "No it's not. That's not me!" She finally made me turn it off, but I swear, she was like a different person.

Creepy.

Great stuff on the transparency though, Denver. Great great stuff. She's showing all of the right things.


Starsky

Man, it IS creepy. About a week ago, she was talking about when my D visited last summer. About being at our house when my D was riding a motor scooter. I was like, "nooo... you were not around last summer. Other than our trip to Disney. You wouldn't come close to the house." She argued with me that she had been around me and my D during the entire visit and had been at the house numerous times. Finally, I just said, "okay. If you say so sweetheart."

Very creepy.

Yes, the transparency stuff is very, very good. Even though she won't admit it, my W understands that I don't trust her like I use to and that I have good reason for that. She knows that she has to rebuild that trust. And for her, having me trust her is of paramount importance. She's just too stubborn and prideful to just come out and admit these things. So I think that I'm just seeing it in the form of actions. Which I am more than fine with.