I met with the Pastor. Great guy that Ive known for some time. He was very helpful when my father passed away last year. He’s my age and he just received his PHD in Theology. I found it to be a very productive meeting. I will also be working with him to get baptized for the first time.
We went over my sitch and talked about forgiveness. Currently I need to work on forgiveness for “myself”. To help “me.” He said time helps but it also helps if I understand my shortcomings and mistakes I’ve made and by doing so it will help to forgive. We also talked about the forgiveness process if there’s ever a reconciliation. IMO, that’s not something I am thinking about for now. I will cross that bridge when/if the time comes.
We also talked about how I view the separation, kids, etc…I talked about DB a bit. He was really blown away on the way I was handling things, I think he was a bit impressed. He said it’s not what he usually hears and he said it sounds like I am doing a lot of the right things. He’s used to hearing a lot of accusations, anger, etc. Basically always putting the blame on the other person. I remember Acc went to a divorce support group some time ago and it sounds like he heard the same thing in the meeting he attended. Just a lot of blaming which stops growth IMO.
One thing that resonated with the Pastor was how consumed my W has been in regards to money. He councils a lot of individuals and couples and he felt “the money” subject was very extreme in my sitch, a bit over the top versus other sitches he’s been involved with. I went on to tell him that it’s not only the money, it’s what’s behind it, what it stands for. W wants to know that things are taken care of, bills paid. Basically being responsible and doing the necessary things to make life easier.
