When we looked into it, we found it in our area and ON our anniversary. It was too coincidental to ignore, and we needed it, and it helped us, a lot.
Yeah, that's the way I felt when I saw the date of the program (SIGH) Arsene, trust me, No one will try to convert you.
My h is NOT Catholic. In fact, he's not into organized religion. I am Catholic, (albeit a fairly lapsed one). I called ahead to make sure they would not "push" him, and in retrospect I think my concern was very misplaced. Anyhow, we live in southern California so I can only speak to how it is here. But If the mere "word" God bothers you or the idea that there might be a spiritual role in marriage, see if there's an atheist retreat. I cannot vouch for that type of thing existing, however.
It's not about me. I'm just worried that my W would feel threatened and back out of it if it was too upfront. I would become a practicing (insert religion of your choice here) if it could save my marriage.
"I would like my W to agree to come to the Retrouvaille program in April 2013" I know, reading it now, doesn't sound reasonable. What could I do to make this happen? I guess it'll be up to her and how the sitch evolves between now and then.
Seems as if you are still trying manipulating the outcome. You are trying to control it, which is your real goal of going to Retrovaille.
I DO support you getting there with her, but to say "by April 2013", I don't know...maybe if you tell her that it would tie up loose ends or help you resolve things OR improve your co-parenting etc...then maybe on a day when she seems grateful to you, you can raise the issue-
OR a day when there's conflict and you suggest Retrovaille as a way to learn how to resolve conflict b/c Retrovaille is for couples in crisis, and it is.
I know that it sounds like I'm trying to manipulate her, but no. I'm trying to save our marriage and family. Besides, someone I highly respect said:
IMO, you just get them there however you can. They'll benefit from it.
Last time you ignored her texts "B/c they didn't REQUIRE a reply" it was passive aggressive. I hope you aren't resorting to that again.
No. This time it really didn't require a reply. She was just informing me that she'd given the maid an advance on her salary and that she'd deduct it from the school payment next month. I try to be vigilant in catching any passive aggressive behaviour. Better I catch it before you do. I hope you do get to Retrovaille. There were 2 couples at our retreat who had lost children, or had out of wedlock kids, 3 had affairs, a spouse or a child had a serious drug problem, etc.
But there they were, talking about re-building their m's, and saying "it's worth it".
Yeah, from everything I 've read on it, I think that we could benefit much from this program. The only problem is that they say that any affair must be over before going on it. I'm not sure if/when that is going to happen.
25, thanks for your words. It's a great moral boost knowing that you're on my case. There has been some development re:intervention by my in-laws and I'm curious to hear your comments on it. Please check out my new thread.
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
