I can't get past the pain yet. Why?

[figure-it-out]

I can second (and third) what Cadet and Another Stander have said. All of these feelings you're having are completely normal and to be expected. My H left 2 years ago and I am still in the midst of it.
I am so much better today than I was in the beginning. I too thought my life was over, my children would never be happy, and constantly thought of my H. Weekends were definitely the hardest for me as well. All I can say is keep doing what you're doing. Friends are there for you to lean on. Keep making plans with them. Make plans early in the week so you have something to look forward to.
I know for me, going on antidepressants was probably one of the best things I could have done. No, life does not suddenly seem "perfect" because it's not but it definitely made my life seem brighter and helped pull me out of the pit I found myself in.

You will be OK. It sounds like you have many positives in your life with children and grandchildren. Truly now you can only work on yourself. Recognize and change the things in yourself that need to be changed. Own what part you played in your marriage and move on. Be the best YOU you can be. Will your husband come back? I don't know, mine hasn't. In the end though you will have found YOU and I bet YOU are pretty terrific.