Your discussion with your wife has two sides. It's good that you have clearly shown your boundaries. I assume you are well aware of the fact that now that you have established them you must follow through and enforce them, if need be. The weakness I see is your anger. Diffusing it is very difficult, I know. But in my view your message would have an even better impact if you delivered it calmly. Treat your wife like a co-worker. Polite, friendly, detached. Good luck.
Thanks longrun. I definitely need to get over this anger. It sux because one minute I'm fine and then another I'm so angry. Will keep reminding myself of this weakness.
I'm reading co-dependent no more hopefully it will help me detach. But I'm struggling the part where it says take care of yourself because that is one of the complaints my w said...seems like if I do that I'll be selfish??? Maybe I need to understand it more.
I did another 180 this morning and left the room before w got oh of the shower. In the past I was there and would kind of see her change. I know that lately she express how that made her feel uncomfortable. So this morning I wasn't there.
Will keep thinking 180..practice detaching...need to gal this weekend.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
