Well I've got a week's worth of updates that are apparently sitting in the moderator queue because they haven't shown up, but now that I've surpassed 100 posts I'm no longer moderated, so the new posts will show up right away. Since the last week's posts aren't up yet but this one will be, I'll try to summarize the others briefly:
- W and I ML over labor day weekend, not quite 3 weeks ago. Last Saturday we discussed sex and it's now officially off the table. W couldn't explain why, just said she didn't want to anymore (up to this point she's been happy to partake, but at a lower frequency than before). I've found it a lot easier to detach since this was removed as an option!
- I told W on Monday that I didn't want her coming over and hanging out at my house every day, that I thought it would be best for both of us if she starts living full time at her house. She agreed. I also asked her to knock on the door or text from the drive when she comes over rather than just letting herself in. She agreed to this too.
- Kids have been with me all week, but we are going to start the weekly 50-50 visitations this Sunday. The kids will go with W Sunday evening. Both kids expressed concern about being away from me for an entire week, I told them they could come over for visits if they needed to and that I'm sure W would be OK with it too. But I'll still be seeing them daily as S9 rides the bus to my house every day and I pick up D15 after her drill practice and take her to my house. W will be picking them up at my house. If she continues her workaholic ways she won't be picking them up until 7-8. I get home before 5, so that'll give me plenty of kid time before she picks them up.
- W is taking tomorrow off to move the rest of her stuff out of the house. I expressed concerns to her that she would be taking stuff without my knowledge/ permission, but we talked by phone and she went over everything she was going to take and we were in agreement.
R with W is still in good standing. We've been getting along quite well, I'd classify the R as a strong friendship right now. I've gone dim this week since telling her to quit coming by and it's actually helped me in the healing process a lot. I don't miss her nearly as much when I'm not seeing her constantly. I saw her briefly Monday for maybe 2 minutes when she was dropping D15 off. Didn't see her Tuesday, but we spoke by phone for quite a while (mainly about what she was moving tomorrow). Didn't see her or talk to her at all yesterday which is probably the first time in 20+ years we've had no contact in a 24 hour period.
Now it's just a waiting game. I know W is aware of my 180's as she's ackowledged them, and my 180's are no longer 180's but are a permanent part of me and I'm sure she'll eventually see that if she doesn't already. She wanted space and now she's got it. It's only been a week so far and I'm not expecting a sudden change of heart, but maybe in a few months. I pray daily for patience because it's not my strong suit!
I've been a gym rat in the past, but my weight training has been sporadic for the last 10 years. But as part of GAL I joined a gym 3 months ago and have been very consistent in my training and supplementing since then. I've gained 7 pounds in that time and my pants are all loose in the waist and shirts getting tight in the right places. I'm surprised I've seen such rapid gains since I'm 51 now, but I'm not complaining
I have to admit I've been engaging in something approaching an EA with a lady I was best friends with in college. We've maintained infrequent contact over the years, but since BD she's been part of my support group. We've been careful not to go too far with it since we both know I'm susceptible to jumping into something too quickly right now. She divorced her abusive husband years ago and hasn't been in a serious R since. She's out of state, but ironically her brother lives 3 doors down from me so I see her now and then when she's visiting. I'm smart enough not to jump the gun right now, but it sure is nice to talk to a beautiful woman that actually cares about me versus getting treated like a distant relative by W.
And I just want to get this off of my chest- I am so sick and tired of W telling EVERYONE she loves them EXCEPT me. When she talks to casual friends on the phone she tells them she loves them at the end of the call. One woman that she barely talked to a few months ago is suddenly her BFF and they always sign off the phone with "I love you, I love you too." Seriously??? I don't react at all because (thank goodness for DR) I know this is par for the course, but it still irks me. Thanks for listening to my vent, LOL!
