Back to Square One?

[Wendylon]

I woke up feeling as if I'm in the middle of a strategic/depressing war. I'm really tempted to hire a private investigator so that I actually know what I'm up against.

I'm determined to react differently to things when I get home (in five days' time). H has been spoiling for fights this past year. I want to walk away from the situation when he provokes me. I get especially upset if he is nasty.

Last time I came home from being away, I made some comment about how he needed to be awake when looking after S13. He said very aggressively, "You just watch it that your being away isn't more pleasant than you're being back home". I felt so unfairly attacked because every time he comes back from work trips, I find his presence really difficult in that he is home but not helping. I find it easier when he's away because it's then clear that I'm the one who needs to get things done.

I do feel low about our M.