So I justback today from a business trip to NYC. After dinner, i got to spend time with my four kids. That was great. I missed them so much, and i was just gone 5 nights. I cant imagine going longer. Well, The wife came home tonight from her internship at an Abused Women's shelter. It's ran through her college. (She wants to be a Psychologist. We had a great little chat about her day, college assignments, and other little chit chat. We were completely cordial. She said she was going up to do her paper. This is we're the demon came out. I told my w that I had reconsidered, and was no longer planning to move. I also told her that I planned on moving back in the bedroom. WOW was she p!$$ed. She said I was using a "power play" and mentioned her not having a job, She mentioned everything that I do wrong! She said "well get the basement ready and I will move down there". I told her I would and that I would stay down there tonight so she can finish her paper. I was EXTREMLy calm, kinda cheerful (guess you could call it that) and heartfelt, but yet very firm in my intentions. She stormed upstairs and locked the door. I went up a few minutes later, and calmly asked if I could get my pillows. She allowed me in, and made a comment of how I had already moved them up there. I simple said "yes" and told her good night and good luck with the writing and left the room. A few minutes later, she came down stairs and said "I hate to even ask, but I need to borrow money" to attend a conference. She feels that I have cut her off financially, what she feels is another "power play" on my part. Again, I spoke with sincerity and told her that I would always give her money for things for her education, car, day to day stuff. I would not however give her money to go out with with her friends. Keep in mind, I do all the grocery shopping, vehicle maintenance, etc. she has very little need for money. She continues to bring up everything from the past that I did negatively. I told her "look, all I'm trying to do is make myself better" I told her I needed to get my self dignity back and I feel this is a good first step for me. I also told her that all I wanted to do before was work on the marriage, but I was the only one. I also said my reasons for returning to the MBR was because she was the one that didn't want to work on this marriage. Not me, but her. Why should I have to move out. I said all I want anymore, was to make myself better, for me and my kids. She could do whatever she wanted. She made a couple more snide comments about turning the basement into an apartment, so I cod move down there. I chuckled and went back to read my book. She walked off.
It was good for me because I always cave on most things. Gotta stand my ground. My first and most important 180.
