Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Hi Jackie! Thinking of you! Hope you ar ehaving a good week.
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
I am glad things are going well and that the vacation went well too.
Quote: I wonder if we have it more difficult than the Donna Reed set as gender lines aren't quite as defined as they once were. Sure I'm a stay at home mom, but I also expect for him to pitch in and do things and I want to use my brain too. I also don't want him to feel he has to shield me from his work stress, I want to be suppportive to him, as well.
I loved that - as a stay-at-home mom now, I am struggling with wanting to contribute financially since I am used to that. I know that my H wants me to contribute in that way as well. So I am consulting from home and doing okay but then also have the three kids to contend with. Then he also wants the house clean, etc because I am "home all day". I too expect him to pitch in around here - and luckily for me he does to some degree even though he isn't living here.
Being at home and taking care of S3, S5 and D9 is wonderful most days. I can volunteer at school more and other things. But again, I am working out of my home so I feel that pressure too.
Anyway, I appreciate your take on things. My H isn't home yet, but our R is in a pretty good place. He is laughing again and joking around with the kids and me too.
So I hope it is a matter of time before I can relate to you in that my H is back home. You and I can comiserate about our children again...school is almost out - can you believe it?
Have a great day. YOu are truly an inspiration!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Hey..Jackie..so happy that your life is going great..I know how hard each day can be..just because we are piecing and our h are back, does not mean the old feelings don't creep back.. my h is probably moving back in a few weeks...sometimes I am scared to death that things will be the same..because we are in the same house..together more..stupid reasons, but real to me. The house and time together did not make our m fall apart..we let it happen, so I have to tell myself to work on me and the changes that I have made...to keep quiet if it will do no good to say something..tthe little things.
You are an inspiration to all the newbies here..I jsut don't fine th time to come here much..bad me, after all this place saved me through the dark times in my life..it was 2 years last month that I started here..where does time go?
Anyways..take care..I will pop in from time to time
I posted more about what my male friends complain about. Lately I have been hanging around with my female friends - so here is the other side.
You are a stay at home mom - which IMHO is more than a full time job. You don't get to stop when the work day ends. You are also such a brilliant woman - many of my friends that are stay at home moms crave the same type of mental stimulation you do. You have every right to want to use your brain.
I don't have any answers for you. I can just share what I talk about and circle about with my friends...
Two of my neighbors were stay at home moms until their kids went into school full time. Now they are both working full time. And while they need to work - it is impacting their kids. Their days are longer and well a stay at home mom just has more time and attention to give to their kids.
The H's - well some of them just don't seem to get that a stay at home mom works overtime. And the ones with working W's - they just don't seem to get that working moms can't continue to give them the same level of attention as they did when they were at home - so they end up doing double duty.
It often seems like whether we work or not, many of the H's have a hard time realizing that they are expected to help around the house when they come home.
My female friends and I complain about this. The X and I fought about this.
At one point during our M, before The X flipped out completely - we decided maybe we needed to adjust our budget to include a maid to clean the house every two weeks and hire someone to do the lawn mowing. We even talked about getting freshly cooked meals delivered two or three times a week. It would mean giving up some of the luxuries and vacations - but we were both so tired of being tired all the time. And being tired usually led to fights about the other not doing enough - well mostly me complaining he wasn't doing enough around the house.
If you figure out any answers Jackie, let me know... Part of me feels like I don't want to even think about getting M again until I can afford to hire a maid! Cleaning up after The X took enough energy, I can't imagine what it would have been like if we had had kids.
There are times, I wish there was someone special in my life. Other times, I am relieved that I am alone. For me, it was exhausting being M to The X. He expected cooked from scratch meals every evening, created loads of laundry and for some reason the bathroom needed to be cleaned so much more often. And on top of that he needed to talk about his work and had no energy to hear about my work stuff.
I am venting again. I am confused myself Jackie - I am not sure if I can do the M thing myself again. It was so very exhausting for me and nothing I did seemed to be good enough for The X...
Sorry, I probably haven't helped much... I have no idea what the answers are... I am probably going to end up a spinster cat lady anyway! LOL!
While I was sitting with my feet up, eating bon-bons this afternoon, I happened to catch part of Dr. Phil. He mentioned reading some research that indicated that a stay-at-home mom worked the equivilant of two full time jobs in terms of energy exerted.
Actually, I was stuck in a chair with my S3 sleeping in my lap. His nose is all stuffy (allergies? - mine are really bad right now) and sleeping at an angle on me made him conk out. I figured I'd enjoy it while I can since it won't be long until he won't do that any more - and since he is my youngest....(so sad to think about)
When you said you want to use exercise your brain in other ways, I can relate. I think that is why I like to do my consulting gigs. It keeps me connected but also keeps my skills from getting rusty.
Your kids are lucky to have you home. I know that having my job eliminated was a blessing in disguise. To have this chance to be home, and maybe even turn this consulting thing into something permanent, may allow me to stay home even when they are all in school - who knows?
What do you do outside the home for you - are you able to carve out time for you? I know that that is one of the hardest things to do - whether working full time outside the home or staying at home. But the better we take care of ourselves, the better moms and wives we can be to others.
Anyway, you give me hope. Your insights and comments are valuable to me.
Thanks.
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Quote: Deb & M, I'm honored that you think I'm a success story. So much to still do, I think I have been letting it all go because he is back and I should know better, this M stuff is hard work, never take it for granted.
You are better off the most in this type of sitch! You are always a wienner in my book!!!
