I re-read some of DR and decided I needed to back off, which is kinda what my W is saying. Doing more of the activities that she wants from me; i.e. household tasks, childcare.
I set up bounderies with her. No contact is in place and I ask for tranparancy (of course I can never be sure that she is being transparent, so I find this one a little nuts). We are seeing an MC and are both seeing ICs periodically.
By backing off, I got a better response from my W. Not robust love making or anything but she came up to me and sat with my arm around her to share something on her iPad and wanted me to hold her at night. I do think we are getting improvements. For example, divorce is no longer on the table and it was when this first came out.
