a_man_lost, thanks for sharing your story. I admire your energy and stamina how you handle the situation. You have a job, you are a grad student, you spend a lot of time with the kids. Yet your wife is living in lala land. I think there is one area where you could improve your chances, mainly regarding the way you present yourself towards your wife. It would be great if you stopped any R discussions, never told her that you love her. Be as cool and detached as you possibly can. Think "alpha male". Your wife can consider herself lucky that you haven't kicked her out, she has to invest time and energy to find her way back to you and her family. I know this is much, much easier said than done but you could at least try to get closer to this goal.
