As Jack wisely states, you can't legislate your wife's FEELINGS. All you can do is effectively lay out your own boundaries about her BEHAVIOR. The feelings will take time -- almost TWO YEARS for my wife and I, and that's pretty typical.
Love may be a decision, but the FEELINGS of "in love" are emotional and even chemical. They take awhile to return.
What sort of boundaries did you guys put in place when her affair ended? No-contact/transparency? MCing with a good MC specifically trained in infidelity? Maybe Retrouvaille? Anything?
Most people I've seen that fail to put these elements in place are doomed to find themselves right back here in time. WITH those things in place, it's still a damned-hard slog, but it's very possible and -- over time -- your wife's "in love" feelings for you will return.
