My biggest concern now is her comments which approximate the following; She still does not love me, says there is no passion (I was given the ILYBNILWY statement, which led me to confront her about an affair). She is afraid that she can never love me or have the feeling she needs to have.
Yeah, that's straight out of the WAW script. Have you read DB and DR? I'd also recommend Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough". If she talks about leaving, tell her you understand and support her decision. She may very well have to leave to get her thoughts together, otherwise you'll be in limbo for quite some time. Don't argue about it or get in her way. Validate her feelings, you can do that without agreeing with her (IE, "You want to leave? I understand why you feel that way and I support your decision, I want you to be happy even if that means leaving me").
Originally Posted By: icDude
And finally, all of my attempts to get said feeling from her seem to be failing and frustrating to her. Furthermore, I am frustrated and don't know what else to do.
First, quit trying to make her feel anything, you can't. You can only change YOU. Read DB/ DR, make a list of your 180's and implement them right away. Take serious stock of what you've done that has made your wife unhappy and do 180's on those things. Don't tell your W you're changing, just do it:
29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write.
And give her space and time, right now she needs both.
Originally Posted By: icDude
So the question, is my relationship still doomed, even if the affair is over? And if not, what steps can I take to rebuild the bridge between us?
It absolutely is not doomed, there are many success stories on these forums even after separations of years. Read DB/ DR, post often here, and don't try to rebuild the bridge, build YOU into a new, improved, good-looking, sexy, attractive you and your W will notice.
