Deb & M, I took the advice and let the R talk go and try to look at is from his perspective and all the stuff going on in his life.
Colleen & Berto -- you are right, I need to look at all the good in my life. And Berto, thanks for the laugh. You are right, it wasn't that long ago that he refused to go to FL with us and didn't want a thing to do with us. He planned this trip as a way to say he was sorry and to celebrate us being a family together again. He didn't say the sorry part, but I think I'm looking for words when I should know better and see the actions that are speaking volumes.
I'm so glad I didn't go into the R talk yesterday, we had lunch together and just tried to be upbeat and talk about vacation. Then when H got home from his dinner meeting there was a letter from his apt complex for him. They are charging him 8k for moving out. He gave them two months notice, but now they want a one month penalty for moving out plus the remainder of the lease money now. When he had called about leaving they had told him that if they rented it, he wouldn't have to pay. He has been paying every month, but now they claim they are collecting a debt. One more stress on top of many.
I told him after he read the letter that he is worth the money. He had a really hard time sleeping last night and I know he was down watching tv for a long time. He told me this morning he was surprised I was being so nice about it. I think he is doing all the beating up in his head. Of course, I had asked him why he felt he needed to sign a year lease back then, but I'm not bringing it up now. I did get a bit paranoid and asked since he has to pay for it anyway, did he want to move back in (I didn't sleep much either, so wild thoughts going on), his first response was I can't. Then he said, why would I want to?
Why do I ask such dumb questions and not just let the actions speak for themselves? I wanted a response that was something along the lines of I'd never want to go back, I want to be here with you, but his mind is probably on the mess and not reassuring me. Later he said something that showed that he is nervous to about my feelings, of wanting him here when he has created such a mess.
So more stress to add, we don't have the money to pay up front, I'm hoping he will fight them.
