I did test for my next rank, test went okay, can't do a back kick if my life depended on it, but had my hapikidos down. Even did a front roll off my left shoulder, usually I just go thump. But need to really step up my practice time for the next rank.
H and I went to the T yesterday. She asked us to rate the M on 1-10. I did a big inward groan, last T we had to do it too, almost a year ago. H gave it a 7, I agreed. She asked if we were satisfied with a 7, I said no, H seemed okay, but wanted more too.
She asked what was going on and I just said things were boring around here. Perhaps with the last 16 months of drama, I've had something to focus on, a goal, now it is achieved, what is next? So we talked about me for a bit, how I may be project oriented and might need more in my life than just being a mom. She kind of validated that for some people earning degrees is the point, not using the degrees (something that bugs my H to no end, that I don't use my latest degree). I just struggle with the age old question of what to do when I grow up (and pushing 40, too!). So in an attempt to get a fire under my butt, H read through the classifieds last night and I could think of an excuse for every job! I don't even know if I want to work, the kids are little for such a short time, I don't think I want to miss it. I'm afraid if I work, when I got home everything would be rush, rush, rush and I'd be really cranky. So I need to figure out where I want to row my boat to.
T also gave us some grief for not having time to ourselves. She thinks we should be going out every Saturday night. (guess that would mean finding a babysitter, we really are pitiful) So, H and I talked and our goal is to go out twice before our next appointment (one month). We talked about the vacations we had planned, but she said we need something to keep us going on a regular basis, not just surviving between vacations.
We are attemtping to carve out time for each other in the evening and find things we can do together, we both tend to read then fall asleep in the evening! She suggested puzzles, wine, sex, I rolled my eyes at puzzles and last night when H came home he told me "I did not appreciate you rolling your eyes when I said puzzles" I thought T said it, but either way I got in trouble. To me he seems a bit sensitive, but I guess I should be aware of that by now.
So working on a way to find some meaning to my life and make it not so boring.
