Tomorrow is a New Day

[mamabird]

Hopeful,
Your M sounds like my M pre-bomb. You never know what to expect or what kind of mood he will be in. You have your preset routines - he gets home at a certain hour, you eat dinner as a family, you then each retreat to separate corners built wish you could be doing something together instead. It is tense all the time. The pain and loneliness can be astounding. It gets better at times, but nothing gets resolved and you can feel the slow slide downhill.

It was EXACTLY this type of situation at home that led me right into having an A when the opportunity presented itself. Because I felt like sh!t and this guy made me feel better about myself.

I'm not telling you to have an A, of course, but what I advise is to find things that boost your ego. You seem to be successful at work. Why not focus on that? I would also advise you to really be self protective at this point. The man is grinding you down. You might have to say, "H, I really want our M to work but we seem so disconnected right now. It's sad and frustrating for me. I sense that you would like to have more space, so I will give it to you. Please know that I am always available when you're ready to come together again."

And then go do your own thing and feel good about it. Really feel good about it and don't worry about what he thinks. You gotta detach a bit more so he will come back to you.