Things have been mostly good for the last week or so, but definitely some ups and downs.
Vacation is on hold for time being, as there are a few other things that we need instead in the short term. A bummer, but stuff happens.
Last night ended pretty rough. First real argument we've had since she's been back in the house and she threatened D again multiple times. She went on and on about how my relationship before we got married hurt her, to which I apologized and tried to explain what was in my head at the time. She didn't like anything I said and just continued to attack me on it. It was pretty awful and I'm not happy that I lost my cool a few times.
This AM W apologized to me for "being hysterical" and I apologized as well. We calmly talked for maybe an hour about some of the issues. She said she didn't want to ML because she felt like it gave me false hope (which I realize is script, but I also find odd given how much we're ML right now). She also said she was really unhappy everyday and when I asked her why, she said because of her own indecision. She feels guilty for keeping me in this situation and feels unsettled not knowing what she's going to do.
In the end I told her I'm living day by day and not reading anything into anything, to which she responded, "that is so unlike you." I also told her that she wasn't keeping me in anything--I make a conscious choice every day to stay in this M and fight for it.
Have her understand how these situations really go down, and is it REALLY fair to ask of someone who was at one time their "friend" to stand in for a situation which has a greater than 9 times out of 10 chance for failure?
