Thanks a lot Acc! You might disagree with me on this but I’ve felt it’s important to not always be available for W while DB’ing. Yes, I could have spent the time to talk with her however I asked if tomorrow would be ok and she said, “that’s fine” but it angered her. I think she thought I had another women with me, (farthest from the truth). You see, W’s not in control of EVERYTHING. If I try and tackle everything she’s asking, I would be worse off. I will no longer be walked on or give in to every request from W and I am ok with that. Her being demining with me serves no purpose and we are on an agreed payment schedule. She can be as mad as she wants but I am not a strict budget. At this stage, she’s not getting additional funds, I will remain consistent on this and I won’t let W try to scare or intimidate me. Being hurt though, that’s a different story.
Your right about her wanting to reduce her guilt. That’s why she texted me that silly message a couple weeks ago asking me if I was dating anyone and then she went on to say “I guess you have my blessing.” I don’t really doubt her infidelity. I actually think I would be foolish to be in denial of it. Acc and others mentioned that for some it’s a deal breaker and for others, they can work past it. I just don’t know that to think about all of this. Maybe a could work through it because I do want my family back.
The cards are stacked against me and I am not very hopeful as of today. In terms of the options you provided Acc, I don’t know if I see the benefit in bringing up the text to W. Why would I want to dig for clarification or details? I also don’t know if it would do any good to let her know that I haven’t been with anyone. What I do on my free time is my business and even if I told her “I’ve been faithful to our marriage.” I don’t know what purpose that would serve and she probably wouldn’t believe me anyway.
W and I are separated, it’s torture anyway Acc. Do you think by bringing these topics to the surface right NOW is really necessary? I just don’t know how it could be helpful with my “sitch” or wellbeing at this point. It really wasn’t until NOW that I truly understand when some of you guys comment about how hard it is to keep fighting.
I don’t mind being called out on things from you guys, it helps keep me in check. I am just wondering if I am being logical about this stuff?
_________________________________ Freshman class of 2012 Me(M):38 W:43 Together: 15 Married: 11 D:5 S:8 W wanted separation 5/5/12 Stopped living together 5/5/12
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”. Thomas Jefferson
