My H and I had a long talk yesterday. From what I got our of the conversation is the following:
-He wants to leave but he feels financially he cannot -He said his Head is telling him one thing his heart is telling him another (to stay or to go) -He is afraid of getting hurt again -He feels like I have not "Paid" for my actions. -He feels like if he stays I get what I want and he looses and if he goes he still loose because he is going to be trapped. -He feels like all of the changes I have done in the last 3 months were acts to get me to stay. He said "Now that I finally have you acting like a Wife I want to go" A little too late...... -Me going out and not telling him where I was going, he perceived that as me stepping out on the marriage again..... -If I wanted him to stay I should be telling him that and reassuring him why I want to be with him
He said a lot. I have been reading the DR book and I have been detaching and GAL. It is very unlike me just to leave and not give him my whereabouts. I had mentioned this to my therapist that I thought he would see this as me having another affair, and that is exactly what has happened.
He said he does not trust me and he cannot get those images out of his head.
Now it has been 3 years since the PA with not contact since then. I am a bit confused now. It seems like the things he wants me to do are the opposite of what the DR book is saying. It appears to me he wants me to "pursue" him and reassure him and check in with him.
I am not sure if the DR book is giving me the right advice for my particular situation??????
