Wendy, I think the ow is protesting entirely too much about things that she supposedly didn't do. Well, she will need to come up with proof that you did the things that she is accusing you of...there are ways to pull data even if it has been erased from the hard drive and I'm sure she is very much aware of this...
As for your xh, no matter what you do, say or show him, he's always going to defend her. It's the way of the game w/these love sick kids. I'm so sorry all of this is happening to you. I do think that once both of you are out on your own, things should settle down. Right now, she's ensuring that nothing changes in the way that you and your xh communicate. She feels very threatened and doesn't want the two of you to even be friends...sick isn't it? But, she really is threatened by you...
Wendy, take care of yourself and be very careful what you post out in the cyber world...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
