First, about the Retrouvaille program. Can this program work even if one of the spouses isn't 100% sure that they want to save the couple? What I want to know is, if I can convince my W to give it another try and if she came just to humour me (like many S seem to do with MC), would we still get something out of it?
What kind of activities are involved? I heard that there was a strong religious angle but that it was possible not to take part in certain activities. From what I read, the one in Singapore, being in a small multicultural city/state, is geared more toward a wider range of people.
We did one in the states this summer and my W wasn't really committed to it. In fact, we actually fought about it during the session. It's been maybe 3 months since our weekend and things are still pretty rocky.
For us, there was a lot of thinking and talking involved...and I'm talking heavy lifting. These three days are work. There is an element of faith, including some prayers, but it's not overbearing.
With that said, I'd still highly recommend the program. For me, I'd already done most of the work we went thru on some level, but it was really good to see I was on the right path. I was hoping that my W would embrace it too, but ultimately it's a choice and they actually teach that in the class. To forgive is a choice. To love is a choice. To trust is a choice. You and your W have to be willing to make these choices.
It's pretty amazing to see the affect it has on some people. We had one couple with us that were weeks from divorce, they were just waiting on the court date to complete and this was there "no regrets" last deal. Over the course of two days, this couple reconnected and recommitted themselves to their marriage....it's pretty inspiring to see it first hand. Unfortunately, there are plenty of stories where it didn't help too, so keep your expectations low.
