Has your wife ever admitted to OM and the extent of the relationship?
Nope. She pretty much hung her hat on it being a friendship and nothing more. She did admit that telling him "I love you" was wrong (ya think!?), but even that she justifies to an extent, saying he has low self-esteem and needs a "little push" sometimes to get work done (they work together). The phone calls and texting involved was more than my 17 year old does, and the repeated meetings at bars, coming home hammered and such, was not what anyone would consider normal.
At the end of it, OM's W left him because of the relationship and I told my W something like "if he was really just your friend, and you can see the relationship you have with him is destroying his M (not to mention ours!), why wouldn't you stop it? Is your friendship more important than his family? I honestly don't think it even phased her.
Eventually, OM tried to piece his M back together (I have no idea how that is going) and I actually talked to his W a few times. That resulted in his threatening my life and me having to get the police involved. It got pretty nasty, so I never did use the "tell OM I said hey" line....it just doesn't sound normal in our sitch.
Right now, contact that I am aware of is minimal (though I know it still exists). W actually doesn't get on the phone or text too much at home, which is really a 180 for her. W is also very good about telling me times she'll be home (without me asking) and just being around a lot, which is a huge change from what I've seen in the last couple of years.
The one thing I read that I will mention though is that when an EA/PA stops, there's a mourning period. I really think that is true. There were weeks were my W would tell me how much of a liar OM was, and how awful he was at this or that. I think that is because he backed off the relationship in an attempt to put his M back together, but I'm just guessing. I can't imagine why she thought I was a good person for her to vent to about OM....it definitely tried my patience.
