My Story WAW due to Gaming Addiction

[AnotherStander]

I would never do something like that but i just broke down. The drive home from work was yet another mental and emotional breakdown as was my drive to work this morning.

When does the pain stop? 2 months have gone by and I am still a mess.

First let me say that crying is GOOD. Do it! Let it all out! Don't hold it back! We guys are taught from an early age to bury our emotions deep inside and to never cry. All that does is make the pain last forever. I cried more in the month after BD then all the other times added together since I was probably 13. I HATED it at the time, but looking back I can now see what a release it was. You'll cry less and less until you just won't need to anymore, and you'll feel a lot more centered afterwards.

I take it day by day and when I have the kids everything seems OK but when the kids go home its when it really hits home and I struggle to hold back the tears.

It's not necessarily bad to cry in front of the kids, they should know that A)you're not afraid to show emotions and B)it's OK for them to show emotions too. But don't let it get to be a constant thing, try to cry mostly in private and put on a brave face for them.

I am so confused because the person I married 9 years ago is not the person that I am seeing now. She is amesome mother and a wonderful wife and person. During the last couple of weeks though she has become distant and all out mean to me. When we talk she wont even look me in the eyes.

Yeah, same here (20 years in my case). My W isn't particularly mean, but she's changed radically. She was kind, warm-hearted and put everyone's needs before her own. Now it's all about #1! Yes it's confusing and no, it doesn't make sense. It's best not to try and figure it out because it's all about her emotions. Logic and reason are non-starters in this.

I also know I have 11 months to win her back.

DB isn't about winning her back. It's about changing yourself and giving her the opportunity (time) to appreciate the new, changed you and hopefully she'll be attracted back to you. Having the mentality of trying to do something to get her back is setting yourself up for failure (and implies you're just doing it to get her back and that you will revert to old habits afterwards). If you improve you, then you win whether she returns or not.

I also am going to stop trying to cater too her. Like asking if she needs the grass cut, needs any money, or if there is anything around the house that needs to be done.

Ditto. I've been helping my W a lot with her house and I suddenly realized that I've been volunteering and she has not been asking for help. As part of my detaching I will still help her if she asks for help (if it's something she can't do herself), but I'm not offering it up freely anymore.