Sage & Mal, I am waiting for the wedding ring part, but then I think, do I just ask for what I want? Is he wanting me to want him to wear it? Do I just say something once, nice and simple and let it go at that.
Kitti, your welcome!
Holding on, I'm in PA. I've never done therapy except for our disatorous church therapist, but a few friends have told me that if you don't like the person after a few visits to cut bait and find someone new to not get in the mindset where you have started, might as well continue.
Manisha, T and I were talking about the resentment and how that can start eating away at you and that is why she is very strongly encouraging me to pursue some of my own interests and to tell H I'll be out that night, not ask. She uses the analogy (and said there is a book out there with a similar title) that you have to be able to row your own little boat before you can be part of a couple. And once you are a couple, you don't jump in their boat, but hook your boats together, but still rowing your own boat. And it is okay and adventageous to sometime unhook and veer you boat to something that you find interesting and then come back and you bring that vitatility and interest with you. Makes sense. I think H and I jumped into the family boat and haven't spent any time in our own boats! Or even with just our boats hooked together and the kids off with some life vest of sorts.
Sounds like T is really a good one! I really like the boat example. I wish The X and I had found your T instead of the disaster of a traditional MC we went to!
As for the ring - why not decide to give your H till the end of February. If he is still ringless - maybe ask him then. Work with the T and see what he/she thinks.
I don't want to offer false hope - but Valentine's Day is coming up - maybe he wants to make an occasion of it when he puts the ring back on.
Quote: I am waiting for the wedding ring part, but then I think, do I just ask for what I want? Is he wanting me to want him to wear it? Do I just say something once, nice and simple and let it go at that.
Go back to the post you just placed here about anxiety. I know how hard it is on your own anxiety to let them go on with a "naked" finger, ... take it from one that made a fiasco over wedding rings. Now that CAW knows that I read it as a barometer, the ring is on and off to the point it would make my head spin! ... but its a senario I had created.
... but your H has to yet to arrive at the place where he will be comfortable wearing his rings. Give it time and it will come. This time it is definately different!! ... THIS TIME the piecing are going to stick together!!!
I read this discussion about your H's ring with great interest as my H hasn't worn his ring in years. It bothers me, but isn't part of why he left. There is not and hasn't been an OW - he just doesn't wear it.
But should he come back home, I'd like that to enter in to our conversation. To really renew the commitment to each other.
I keep praying for you and yours. I think that you are on the right track and I hope to keep learning from your sitch and keep applying it to mine.
You provide inspiration to me and others. Stay strong!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
KAW, I have gotten to the point where I feel it is uncomfortable for my H to see my rings on my fingers. I wear them the rest of the time, but not around H. What message am I sending him? He took his ring off when he started his A with OW and does not wear it. He wore it every day before that.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
... but its a senario I had created. 
