I know, the lying is so much worse than the cheating, isn't it?
Now - if your plan is to stay for this year and get S18 through high school - how about making a priority list, a plan for what you're going to work on?
Include: 1) Strategies for helping S18. Does he need tutoring, nutritional support, exercise, a vacation away with you? What do you think will help him the most? What are the best times to chat with him? What can you do to give him more time, attention and support?
2) Self-improvement - no matter WHAT happens with your marriage, you will be happier a year from now if you have done things to help yourself be healthier, stronger, clearer, more competent. What are the areas you need to work on, and what is your plan for achieving your goals?
3) Self-care - this is a very stressful situation you are trying to tolerate. Getting out and having some FUN is important. Also, it can help to have some big goal or project to focus on outside the marriage (when my H first had an affair, I concentrated on training to climb Mount Whitney. When he left years later (after several years of successful reconciliation) I bought a drum kit and learned to play the drums in a rock band. What is there that you dream of doing but have been too scared to try? You've got nothing to lose now!
4) Financial peace - now is the time to start figuring out where you stand financially, and think about contingency plans for your financial security should you end up separating in the future. If there are debts, start practicing frugality and get them paid down. Stash some emergency cash somewhere. If you're not working, consider getting training for a career. If you are working, consider how you might improve your income.
