Hey Arsene. Thanks for checking in. I had a pretty good weekend, catching up with friends visiting from out of town on Sat. Night and then watching the games with family and friends all day/night yesterday.
I still get these terrible feelings and heartbreaking loneliness the day after these "get my mind off it" types of days. It's stung a little more today than usual, as I spent most of the day yesterday with someone who used to be a mutual friend, but has stopped talking to W and is very upset with her actions. While it was sweet to hear the support for me, it saddened me to hear it at the same time... I found myself asking her to not dislike W for her actions, trying to explain that I think she's going through extraordinarily tough and trying times... basically defending W... but my friend wanted to hear none of it and kept asking how I could keep holding on. I simply reiterated my stance, that I love W and hope that things can work out in the future, but I'm not just going to wait around and hope she comes back...
Anyway, woke up this morning feeling pretty sick, so I've taken the day off work. But this big, quiet house keeps whispering W's name, reminding me how long its been since we've talked.
I realize I'm doing a lot of complaining on these boards lately, and for that I apologize. I'm just not sure what else I can do sometimes to get these feelings off my chest. Plus, its always nice to get reassurances that me not reaching out is a good idea, that I don't have to call her to tell her I miss her but can't be her friend as long as OM is in the picture... While taking NO action is the best action, it's hard some days to just lay back.
