Now that I'm at a computer instead of my smartphone. Here are responses / update type stuff.

Responses first:
Tori - She says she wants out so the LRT / Ultimatum's won't affect her. It would help her. She says that she has lied about OM's reputation, "made it worse than it is." I'm still pretty sure there is a record and he sounds like bad news. We talked, and I'm hope that she will respect the kids' wishes, if not mine, about not wanting to meet anyone yet.

LaBug - I say this respectfully in re: to my W, it's more issues for her to deal with than just her first M.
W. claims not to drink anything when she's around him. She has said "not one drop" on several occassions. So who knows. I will say she is generally anti-drug due to her father's past issues.
I am considering counseling for each of the kiddos. The two oldest kids have a lot on their shoulders. I know that I am currently their rock, they are my anchor for when / if my moods go really dark and thoughts to the bad spot.
I think too much of what others think of me. That's my problem to fix for me.

Update of events:
We had "family" dinner. It was awkward. S7 and I went walking on our street to try and sell popcorn for his scouts. He did pretty good; and it was fun to just walk with him. Only downside was having to deal with our neighbor / W.'s bff. Definitely had to "fake it," a positive PMA.
We came back in, I spent time with the boys (hopping back and forth between rooms as they were doing separate things), while D and W went for a long walk.
S kept asking how to stop the divorce. I couldn't really respond, other than everything will be fine no matter what happens.
I then tried to work out. I generally did what I normally do, but is was as rough as could be. I tried some meditation (new thing), and then all of a sudden I woke up. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I fell asleep for about 10mins. Either I meditated too well, or my mind/ body shut down out of sheer exhaustion. Then of course I couldn't go back to sleep for awhile.
This morning I helped get S2 ready as usual, and then dropped S7 off to school. I spoke with mom regarding the talk yesterday and my numbness. She actually said :maybe it's time to let go. You've tried your best."
I think she may be right. I think I may have had too high of expectations of DBing to save my marriage versus saving me. I'm stuck again with having to face the actuality of divorce. I think I was lieing to myself; and that's how come #2 on my goal list with Zig, was so difficult.
To end, at leat for now, W and I texted this morning regarding kids being at school and what not. She sent an email to S7's teacher to keep an eye on him, I had told him to talk to the school counselor if needed. W.'s last text was "This bothers me." I have no clue what it means, or how to reply. Therefore, I'm sticking with the take time to reply attitude. Maybe that will help me, somehow.

I'll check back later, as for now, I'm a mixture of numb and sad.