Divorced #5. And I think Im getting it..

[Mrs D]

X didnt call to speak to C, so I guess it will wait till whenever.

Had a good night. I made chili for the game and invited friends over. Too bad other things were going on. Only one GF was able to stop by. So she, C and I watched the game together. I love football. Just weird watching without X.

Day # 6 tomorrow. Just think. Its been almost a week!!!

[Arsene]

Good girl. Keep it up!

[labug]

You can do this.

[Mrs D]

Thanks guys for the support. I woke up this morning missing him terribly. BUT, I have not reached out to him at all since I left his place last Saturday morning unless regarding C. I honestly think Ive let him go to see what he needs to do with himself, while I work on me. ANd I think thats what Im most sad about today. I can only hope that one day he turns around and sees me as a different person. The one he used to love..

My sis is coming from KY today - so Ill have a busy weekend with her and the rest of the family. Day 6. Ill have this one too.

[Carnac]

MrsD: congrats on the week. And just understand and accept mornings where you wake up missing him....it happens. Im in the same boat this morning, I dont know why exactly but yesterday at practice was just strange, we didnt speak, didnt really even look at one another, maybe thats why im in a funk, but you simply have to recognize it for what it is and PUSH forward.

There are easy days and there are hard days, obviously today is going to be a hard one, im pretty listless at work right now, dont really wanna do anything, but its not like im dying to contact her either, its just a blah day.

On a positive note I did realize yesterday that I have seen her about 4 times since I noticed two weeks ago she didnt have her wedding ring on and I haven't even bothered to look to see if she's wearing it. Maybe she put it back on but most likely I would probably think since she had it off that she probably kept it off. Either way its not something I can worry about anymore.

Keep your head up MrsD: Im gonna try and do the same even in the face of what seems like insurmountable odds good things can happen.

[Mrs D]

Sounds like things are getting easier for you Carnac. And Im sorry you are down as I as am. I as well have way to much to do at work, and dont feel like doing much of anything. Hopefully my mood changes soon before my sis gets here. Maybe its also the change of the weather Im down. Fall is my favorite time of the year. I guess I am thinking of the memories we had made with the kids during fall - going to the pumpkin patches, the orchards, football, etc. And this year it will be minus two - my daughter, and my X.

I can only hope he pulls his head out soon.
Yes, Starsky. I do think of my X all the time. I dont want to lose anything that I had and could have with him. Im sorry. Im leaving him alone, but he is still in my thoughts all the time.

[Mrs D]

Update:
Day 6 and 7 are finished as well. Although when he spoke to C last night, I was at my brothers house. He asked to speak to me. C hands me the phone, X asks me if I headed up to a festival at a neighboring town. I told him I was and he starts telling me I shouldnt be upset because he hired a sitter for last weekend when Im headed out for a night when I had C. Its not like I do this often, and I didnt want to argue so I left him voice whatever he felt he needed to. Although my mood was altered, he didnt know none the other.

Spent last night hanging out with my brother and sister. Sang with some friends in a band. Had a few drinks. Danced my butt off and had a good time.

Today we went to visit my Mom for her bday. I think therapy is helping with that relationship as well because I didnt feel like I needed to leave. X called earlier to talk to C. My phone was charging in my room, and I didnt hear the call come through. C tried calling him back, but hed already left for the night.

Day 6 and 7 done. Day 8 tomorrow. Kinda sad hes not reaching out, but dont expect him to either. Happu Saturday.

[Mrs D]

Day 8 of basic NC. I hate that I havent spoke to him hardly at all. Seems like Im living a nightmare for the past two months and I cant wake up. X called and spoke to C about a half hour ago on the way back from church. The only contact I had with him was him asking for C and then thanking me for letting him talk to him.
Just seems like we are growing further apart as he and the GF are getting closer. And maybe they arent, but I know X and I are growing further apart.

[Arsene]

Don't let it get to you girl. I know exactly how you're feeling. It seems like things aren't getting better but worse. We need to give it time. They need time to miss us. Time for their new relationships to start being filled with the rut of everyday life. Then the masks will fall and people's true nature will come to the surface. That's when the old reliable, tested companion will be missed. In the meantime, tell yourself that if you don't talk to him, there is no way you can mess up things by saying the wrong thing, right?

Take care and be patient.

Have a nice week.

[Mrs D]

Thanks Arsene - I really needed this this morning. I did send him a text yesterday that C was setting up a lemonade stand to make his own money. He finally responded this morning asking how he did, and if he made the change on his own. I responded he did well, and did everything on his own. That was the extent of the conversation.

I received an email from my pastors wife this morning. She sent me a challenge to go to the book of Romans, pick any chapter and let her know what I read. She said to be encourage and God is in control. I am being molded and shaped in the process - not about who I am today, but who God is making me be. I really needed that this morning as well.

Hope your week is a good one as well. Day #9.