Tomorrow is a New Day

[hopefulinga]

I appreciate that LA, I really do. I have no idea what would be going on if there was truly an EA. I am trying to work through if it is my insecurities or a reality. He is home, not really texting or on the phone at night. However, he also knows I would catch him because his phone is not in the house and we have a chime on the door. I don't know his every step when he is gone during the day and I have to trust him to tell me where he really is when he is on the motorcycle. I am pretty certain that he is not taking her to lunch or antyhing like that because I get the creidt card bills.

The emails from Thursday night and Friday bother me coupled with I don't think he is being truthful about how much he communicates with her. However, I told him tonight that if he is being honest and uprfront with me, that's all I can ask. So if he's not, he has to live with that.

I guess one of my hang ups is looking stupid (in my own mind) if something is really going on and the reality of failure of this M.

This woman has a crazy exH that she's had arrested and got him fired, so I doubt he's paying child support. I'm sure she does find him attractive. When the crap hit last year, I told him that I wanted to meet her and he said no. Prior to that, I do know that he invited her to the airport for public events. I don't think he's that dumb.

Clearly he doesn't want me to know the level of contact, which does concern me. I also forgot to mention that he joined Skype on Thursday and her cell number is in there (one of 2 contacts. I'm not one of them). He left it open on his computer. Why does he need to talk to her while he's away?

I am encouraged that we're going on 7 weeks of no D talk. I honestly don't think he would have a PA. I think she is "buttering his bread" and he's not pissed at her like he is at me, or holding a grudge.

I don't know. I'm trying to put it out of my mind. I will probably take a sleeping pill tonight.

He is definiely not the same man who came home last weekend. Although he is pretty sun burned and tired. He went to bed before 9.