Well - what can be done to help your son? My kids were 17, 18 and 22 when the split happened - definitely it affected them all. Not least of the problems was that so much of OUR energy was going towards each other, that the kids didn't get as much help with the problems they were having at that time, as they would have if we had not been splitting.
So - maybe for you, right now, the solution is to stop focusing on your H and OW - just accept that whatever happens is going to happen and you are not in control of that (nor do you necessarily know what the best outcome will be - for instance, I thought I knew for sure the best outcome would be my H coming to his senses and staying in the marriage - but now that he's been gone 3 1/2 years, I can honestly say it was the best thing for ME that he left). Instead, put your focus onto helping your son grow to manhood. (Also, fyi, at that age boys often butt heads with their dads, even when the relationship is a good one - there's a certain amount of testosterone-fueled head-butting that goes on).
Also, put your focus onto being the best YOU that you can be.
