Ellie, Good advice, as usual, and yes on the BFL, be a good time to start and have some people to stay accountable with.
Hi Mockers and DB! Clever.
Update:
Well, not much to update, actually. H has now been here for two straight weeks. I'm wondering when he is going to cancel the cable, phone, etc over at his place and save some money, but that seems so minor compared to all the wonderful changes that I'm going to keep my mouth shut. He usually stops over there on the way home and brings some more stuff over.
We've been spending the days/nights getting the rooms back in order that we painted and planning some vacations. We have a family vacation now booked for the end of March and a 11 day trip in May for just the two of us. I still have the scared feeling that he will desert me again like he did with Disney in October, but for the most part all the signs are good.
H says ILY about 10 times a day now. Very affectionate. I try and thank him for all the little things that he does. Also, this is one of the most stressful times at work H has ever had and he comes home and will vent about it and then seems happy. We have started the talk when he gets home routine that he and his T came up with. When he gets home we go in another room and spend 10-15 minutes just talking about our day. The kids are to leave us alone and then they know the rest of the evening is theirs until bedtime. Seems to be working out well.
As weird as this sounds, we also came up with some code words to just signal each other when something is getting out of control, we have one for when the other adult is annoying us, (like asking too many questions), one for when the time is devoted purely to kid interests even though it is very boring and one that is for when the kids are driving us nuts. They seem to work, just a quick way to let the other know what is going on.
We haven't had any conflicts, so I don't know if that is conflict avoiding? Nothing to practice our new problem solving techniques!
Just trying to be aware of the power of the words that come out of my mouth and also be honest with me feelings, not let things fester.
