Slightly hopeful optimist..

[Just A Guy]

Got home W was grumpy and hungry. After I thought about it more I don't know if turning her offer to go mountain biking together was all that great of an idea. I really wanted to go biking but the more I thought about it the less it made sense since its getting dark so early.

So we ate dinner and just finished giving the dogs a bath with a new contraption we got for the shower. It was fun funny and 30 minutes of together time.

So was I wrong for turning down W offer to go biking and watching the football game solo or was it the right call?

I can't decide because I love doing things with W but I feel like I need to pull back more.

[Just A Guy]

Sometimes I feel like I trapped inside some sick twisted relationship game where she is playing one way and I am playing another way and we are both just dancing around all the issues because neither of us wants to give in. I don't want to give into the idea we are through and I feel she doesnt want to give into the idea she was wrong and we can have a passionate M still.

Nutty to me..

[MandyRwaw]

Hi Guy,

You should stop thinking of it as a game.

You are doing all this for you. Making everyday decisions based on your thoughts, beliefs and needs.

She will react the way she does, based on the way she thinks, believes & her needs - you have no control.

The idea is that your actions will be noticed & will be attractive to her. And I can tell you that it might just make her mad - at herself! And then she will have to decide how to react & deal with these feelings...

It's complicated - but not a game.

[Just A Guy]

Yeah, I know it's no a game, I just feel like it is at times... I am working hard for me and I know it, if she comes around then so be it. I really hope i can get some posative answers like in your sitch Mandy.. Just wish there was more I could do or as our MC said "I wish I has a magic wand".

We had a decent evening after we ate dinner. W was no longer "grumpy". I stayed upbeat through the whole evening. W pretty much just says "sweet dreams" now instead of ILY or the likes. It's funny because it seems like she is applying DR techniques as well except the opposite reason.

Today is my first day off in 7 days. Nice to be able to do things I need to catch up on and have a relaxing day.

[labug]

She could be grumpy for many reasons, not just because of you. Remind yourself of that when you have those thoughts.

The positives need to come from you. Sit down every night and write a gratitude list, things you're thankful for.

This is very difficult and it takes a lot of time.

[Just A Guy]

I am grateful for a LOT of things, mostly that I have a chance at having a passionate M with my W. also for my health, job, great family and 2 amazing dogs.

I found myself fantasizing about my W this morning for the first time in a while. Feels good to know that with all that is going on I still have that massive desire for her.

Got a lot on my plate today and I am ready to tackle it all!!

[DaddyLongShanks]

I am grateful for a LOT of things, mostly that I have a chance at having a passionate M with my W. also for my health, job, great family and 2 amazing dogs.

I found myself fantasizing about my W this morning for the first time in a while. Feels good to know that with all that is going on I still have that massive desire for her.

Got a lot on my plate today and I am ready to tackle it all!!

Doesn't it feel good to have a massive desire for your own spouse? Having an OM/OW in the frame is a real esteem crusher.

[Just A Guy]

Uggggggh... W came in talking about goin away for a long weekend again and talking about how she is going to be visiting IC more often. Issue is her IC which we went together to last year is not pro M.

I know that W is going to do what she is going to do and that I cannot and will not do anything to stop her. But I keep having to shove the little monster called "fear" back into its cage.

[DaddyLongShanks]

Uggggggh... W came in talking about goin away for a long weekend again and talking about how she is going to be visiting IC more often. Issue is her IC which we went together to last year is not pro M.

I know that W is going to do what she is going to do and that I cannot and will not do anything to stop her. But I keep having to shove the little monster called "fear" back into its cage.

Best thing you can do in light of this situation is to jump on your own bandwagon. She is going to do whatever she is going to do, there is nothing you can do to control her.

[Just A Guy]

Working on 4-5 of the 37 rules a day. Perfect them over a week or so an then move onto the next few. I feel like I will have a great grasp on most of them in a couple more weeks. Journaling on here and venting helps. It also helps when people get on and give me new ideas and hope.

Hope Is what keeps me going each day. When I wake up and remember what's going on in my sitch it is the hope of being in a passionate marriage with the woman I said forever to... I will however admit that over the past week my feelings of passion for her have been further and more removed.