ok journaling . Crickey its takin ages for my posts to get moderated that i can barely remember what i wrote last time ! Anyhow , ive had the weekend from hell , so much so that tonight was the night my W walked out with our children . Our sitch has been really bad lately living under the same roof , exchanging pleasant polite nothing conversations about nothing , like i would with a neighbour . On friday my wife went to a comedy show out of town with a friend (girl) from work , including a hotel stop over . I found evidence (i know i shouldnt have pryed) that her hotel room was booked under a blokes name , and i confronted her , she gave a reasonable excuse about it , and i didnt know wheather to believe her or not ? When she returned , she told me another lie about how and when she got to the city (birmingham uk ), I'm ashamed to say i have one of those apps for a certain apple cell phone that tells you where any of our many apple products is at any time in case of theft . It also told me when and where she was , which is how i detected her lieing . Yes i know im the lowest of the low for snooping on my W . Anyhow the upshot is now that she feels totally on edge and stalked by myself ( i cant blame her ) and she has moved out to her friends house ( a woman) with our 2 girls . What a heart wrenching day , i asked her before hand if we could just slow down on the whole separation talk , as its only been a week from when we came back off holiday and things were " lets just make it to the new year " to "i can't stay her in this house a moment longer " , things have accelerated so much its frightening . I cant blame her for feeling like shes under servailance but she has told a pack of lies . Now shes gone and states thats it , NO WAY BACK . To be honest i dont want this woman back , but do want the women i married back . Im sitting in our empty house desperately sad for our 2 D , 11 and 5 , it must be such a massive scar for them , and all of us . I really dont like how selfish my stbxw is being and making decisions for 8 people ( W,H ,2D , MIL,FIL,Mum and dad )all by herself . I know its torture for both of us being under the same roof , but i just wanted to slow everything down until we had had some councelling to give us both slightly clearer heads . And make clearer decisions without haste .
