Tomorrow is a New Day

[hopefulinga]

D and I met H at the airport when he got back. I really didn't get to greet him because I discovered his car and my jeep had been egged over the weekend.

I tried to make small talk and told him I was glad he was back. He said he did not want to go back. He went to go clean his car and a friend went with him, I walked over there. He started to tell the friend about what went on and was somewhat distant to me.

I did ask him about whether he talked to the woman I mentioned on Friday about the recurring issue that came up and he said he had not and that he didn't really talk to her. He said he talked to her when he saw her and every so often. I told him that I wasn't sure but I knew that they were friendly. He said they were but didn't really communicate. He did kinda stumble aroudn with his words but was not defensive and did not get angry, and I didn't attack or accuse and kept a calm voice. I told him that as long as he was open and honest with me that was all I cared about, and that this was behind us. He asked what that meant. I told him that I though we had put that woman and her exH behind us, that it kept coming up and that it really bothered me.

I am really not sure that I believe what he told me about the level of communication. She clearly knew he was going away and I have to believe she knows about what came up last week. I don't know if he is downplaying this so that I don't get mad or is truly covering something up. Anyway, he is on notice that I am suspicious.

I am trying to believe in him. I do have trust issues and he is aware of that. Even if it were true, I don't think I would be ready to pull the plug. While the M isn't great, I feel like we've been making progress. And I still know that if anything is going on, it's during the day and she works full time and there are no funny credit card charges, etc.

I will not bring this back up to him and will try to continue my PMA. I looked nice for him today, and one of the guys he flew with said something to H and told him how good I looked.

He's out on the motorcycle right now. I asked if he would take me with him and he said no because was going for a short ride to blow off some energy. I figured that is what he would say.